Let Them: Lessons on Personal Growth, Letting Go & Taking Control

Gabby 461

Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle of self-development that never actually leads to real change? You read all the books, take all the courses, jot down the notes—but when it comes to applying what you’ve learned, life just gets in the way.

I was recently at a business event where a speaker asked: 💡 “Is it self-development, or is it shelf-development?”

That question hit me hard. I’ve spent years learning, absorbing, and planning, but I realized there have been times when I wasn’t actually implementing those lessons.

So today, I want to share three powerful takeaways:

1️⃣ The danger of "shelf development"
2️⃣ Key lessons from Mel Robbins’ new book, ‘Let Them’
3️⃣ How small, consistent actions create lasting change


Are You Practicing Self-Development or Shelf-Development?

We live in an age where information is at our fingertips. Podcasts, YouTube, books, webinars… the list goes on. But the truth is, consuming information without action is like buying a gym membership and never showing up.

I’ve been guilty of this—taking notes, feeling inspired, making plans, and then... doing nothing.

One simple way to break the cycle is to ask yourself: ➡️ What’s ONE small thing I can do today to apply what I’ve learned?

For me, that means writing down three key priorities each day. It’s a simple habit that keeps me focused and prevents me from feeling overwhelmed.


Lessons from Mel Robbins’ Book, ‘Let Them’

I’ve been diving into Mel Robbins’ latest book, Let Them’ and it’s a game-changer. She breaks down three core principles that completely shifted my perspective:

1️⃣ Let Go of Control

We spend so much time and energy trying to fix, change, or influence things outside of our control. Whether it’s at work, in relationships, or with our families, we feel responsible for everything.

But Mel’s advice is simple: Just let them.

  • Let them have their opinions.

  • Let them make their own mistakes.

  • Let them choose their own path.

You can’t control others—you can only control your response.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way, especially as a mother. I used to feel responsible for everything in my children’s lives, even as grown men. I’d worry, stress, and try to fix things. But the reality is, they are on their own journey, and I need to let them be.


2️⃣ Accept & Detach

One of the biggest sources of stress is resisting reality. We get frustrated when people act in ways we don’t agree with. But the truth is, everyone is on their own path.

Instead of spending energy trying to change people, what if we simply accepted them as they are?

🔹 Not everyone will support your dreams. Let them.
🔹 Some people will misunderstand you. Let them.
🔹 Others will make choices you don’t agree with. Let them.

Detaching from the need to control or fix others brings so much peace.


3️⃣ Take Personal Responsibility

The final and most powerful lesson? You are in charge of you.

For so long, I believed that other people, circumstances, or even doctors were responsible for my well-being. If something went wrong, I looked for an external solution. But true growth comes when we take full ownership of our health, happiness, and future.

That means:

✅ Making time for daily self-care (even if it's just 20 minutes).
✅ Choosing who and what we give our energy to.
✅ Taking small, consistent steps toward the life we truly want.


Small Steps, Big Impact

I’ve made it a non-negotiable to spend 20 minutes every day on personal growth. That could be:

💙 Meditation
💙 Gentle movement
💙 Reading something inspiring
💙 Journaling or practicing gratitude

Whatever it is, I make sure I am my own priority.

Because if I don’t make my well-being a priority, who will?


Final Thoughts: We Didn’t Survive Cancer to Be Stressed & Miserable

I work with many women who have finished cancer treatment but feel stuck, overwhelmed, and unable to move forward. They’re caught in fear, struggling with low energy, and unsure how to rebuild their confidence.

If that’s you, I want to remind you:

💡 You didn’t survive cancer to live a life filled with stress, exhaustion, or regret.

This is your second chance—a chance to create a life that feels fulfilling, joyful, and intentional.

If you’re ready to take control of your life again, I’d love to support you.

💙 Reach out to me here

And if you haven’t yet, make sure to listen to this week’s podcast episode where I dive deeper into these topics:

🎧 Confidence After Cancer is available on all podcast channels - and YouTube

Let me know in the comments: What’s one small change you can make today for your personal growth? ⬇️


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